~untitled~

yesterday, i had my first ride on an ambulance... *sigh* i've always thought that i will go through this experience while gathring info fer news or my job.... i've nvr expected 2 go through this with a loved one. but i'm glad i waz the one who went to the hospital with him. i want to be with g'pa while he's sick... i wana b there with him, take care of him... at this point of time, i dunno wat else to do but hope fer da best.

i had great memories with g'pa. that i thank god for. i will nvr ferget da times i spent with g'pa. you will always remain in my heart.

2day, my uncles and aunts includin momy had 2 make an important decision... watever their decision is, i just dun wanna c g'pa suffer... i m prepared fer him to go but i'm not prepared to see him suffer... that's what made me cannot stop cryin. i dun want g'pa 2 b in pain...

plz god, do take care of g'pa ... ease his pain so that he won't suffer from it.

lets just pray....

21, full of fun...

i once saw this phrase on a keychain... it is partly true though... but fer me it's not totally filled with all da fun in da world. i officially turned 21 this mth... a wonderful thing though coz of all da $$ i got... hahah... hey money is essential fer da time bein u know... but the most priceless gift i received was my cam, a SONY Cybershot H1... jangan jealous you... :P

however, turning 21 also made me realize that i have many obligations that i have to fulfill. many things happened in this month... my finals, daddy's bro found out that he has a tumor in his lungs, g'pa was hospitalised coz he fell down, and now... family conflicts.

i did a lot of thinkin when i was cleanin the kitchen fer mum... it made me lost track of time and believe it or not... i finished cleanin da kitchen at 3am... a record fer me... hahah... i nvr realize that i could be that hardworking... :D neways, i decided that i might not get a job fer this 3 mths break... i'll help mom, take care of g'pa, and help dad, b his co-pilot when he has 2 bring his bro 2 UH. n aunt marg... mommy dun need 2 gimme allowance fer takin cake of g'pa... i never depend on my parents fer $$... i oni ask them fer $$ when i'm desprate (though it rarely happens)... money may be essential but it's not everythin u know... g'pa is my g'pa, my responsibility too!

all the thinkin and what happened today made me realized that respect is not given to us freely but it should be earned. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, take care, TCB... sorry, sorry... i got carried away... man dat song rocks!! neways, i came to that conclusion after losin my respect fer my unc n aunts... not all of 'em but some of 'em. seein how they treat g'pa n mommy, they really dun deserve my respect. though i would not show it out coz that would be disrespectful and make mom n dad hav a bad rep, but somewhere deep down my heart... i just know... THEY DON'T DESERVE MY RESPECT. if u're messin with my family then u're messin with me... u can bully me all u want but never ever touch those people i love!

some of u who read this may think that i'm rude, disrespectful n maybe a b'atch... go ahead... think whatever u want to think... it doesn't matter to me... coz i dun care abt what u think... all that matters to me are those people who are worth to be cared abt. mommy, i support u 100%... though at times u might b wrong (then i'll tell u off), we're human beings... we all make mistakes... i know i did... MANY TIMES!

well there isn't much that i can do but i'll try my best. one thing's fer sure... we will not be taken fer granted... i'll make sure of that.

everythin's goin as planned.... [con't]

well based on my last post "what a dumbass" please take note that that doesn't effect my plans... in fact... this are goin pretty good... hell yeah... i'll live on n i'll survive fer sure! ROCK ON!!!

what a dumbass...

fuck you b'atch... wat do u expect? me come crawlin 2 u n apologise? kiss my ass... hell, i dun even know wat i did wrong!!! well if u're that small of a gas... then u're not worth bein ma fren... wat? u expect me 2 talk 2 u when u dun wana talk 2 me?? well think again... i've seen yer attitude towards others but i didn't expect u 2 treat me that way... hell i dun even care anymore... i dun think u ever take me as a fren anyways... if u think every1 would comply 2 what u want then u're dead wrong... u may do it 2 yer parents n lecturers but not 2 me... dream on b'atch!

everythin's goin as planned....

well it has been almost 7 months since i stepped foot in UTAR... and things are pretty much as what i expected... my results are better than what i used 2 get in MMU... things seem even more interesting to learn... loans are in... fucked up bitches are out... dad's happy, mum's happy, i'm happy... so things are good... in a way... what can ever go wrong... cept that it's too early to say... but i'm sure i can do it... EXPN here i come!!!

HOP3 featuring Cee-Lo

[Twista talking]
Man, I know we had a lot of tragedies lately.
I just wanna say rest in peace to Aaliyah,
Rest in peace to Left Eye,
Rest in peace to Jam Master Jay,
And everybody lost in the Twin Towers,
And everybody lost period.
All we got is HOPE!!

[VERSE 1 (Twista)]
I wish the way I was living could stop, serving rocks,
Knowing the cops is hot when I'm on the block,
And I Wish my brother woulda made bail,
So I won't have to travel 6 hours to see him in jail, And I
Wish that my grandmother wasn't sick,
Or that we would just come up on some stacks and hit a lick, And I (I wish)
Wish my homies wouldn't have to suffer,
When the streets get the upper had on us and we lose a brother, And I
Wish I could go deep in a zone,
And lift the spirits of the world with the words with in this song, And I (I wish)
Wish I could teach a could teach a soul to fly,
Take away the pain out cha hands and help you hold them hi, And I
Wish God never gave the men power
To be able to hurt the people inside the Twin Towers, And I (I wish)
Wish God woulda turned they hearts righteous,
When they started to take innocent lives and become snipers,
But uh We will never break, don't underestimate, we shall motivate,
And we gotta pray, all we got is faith.
Instead of thinking about who gonna die to day,
The Lord is gonna help you feel better, so you ain't gotta cry today.
Sit at the light so long,
And then we gotta move straight forward, cuz we fight so strong,
So when right go wrong,
Just say a little prayer, get ya money man, life go on!!!
Let's HOPE!

[CHORUS (Cee-Lo)]
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
Let's be hopeful!

[VERSE 2 (Twista)]
I wish that you could show some love,
Instead of hatin so much when you see some other people commin up (I wish)
I wish I could teach the world to sing,
Watch the music and have 'em trippin of the joy I bring, (shiit)
I wish that we could hold hands,
Listen instead of dissin lessons from a grown man, And I (I wish)
Wish the families that lack, but got love, get some stacks
Brand new shack and a lack that's on dubs, And I
Wish we could keep achieving wonders,
See the vision of the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder, (you feel me) (I wish)
And I hope all the kids eat,
And don't nobody in my family see six feet, (ya dig)
I hope them mothers stain' strong,
You can make it whether you wit him or your mans gone, And I (I wish)
Wish I could give every celly some commissary,
And the po po bring the heat on them priest like they did R. Kelly, And I
Wish that DOC could scream again
And bullets could reverse so Pac and Biggie breath again, (shit) (I wish)
Then one day they could speak again,
I wish that we only saw good news every time we look at CNN,
I wish that enemies could talk,
And that super homie Christopher Reeves could still walk, (I wish)
I wish that we could walk a path, stay doin the right thing
Hustle hard so the kids maintain up in the game,
Let's HOPE

[CHORUS (Cee-Lo)]
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
Let's be hopeful!

[VERSE 3 (Twista)]
Wish the earth wasn't so apocalyptic,
I try to spread my message to the world the best way I can give it,
We can make it always so optimistic,
If you don't listen gotta live my life the best way I can live it,
I pray for justice when we go to court,
Wish it was all good so the country wouldn't have to go to war,
Why can't we kick it and just get em on,
And in the famous words of Mr. King "Why can't we all just get along",
Or we can find a better way to shop and please, And I
Hope we find a better way to cop a keys, And I
Wish everybody would just stop and freeze,
And ask way are we fulfillin these downfalls and prophecies,
You can be wrong if it's you doubting,
With the faith of a must to see drinkin moon mountains,
And only the heavenly father and ease the hurt,
Just let it go and keep prayin on your knees in church!!
And let's HOPE

[CHORUS (Cee-Lo) X2]
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
Let's be hopeful!

[BACKGROUND]
na-na-na-na-na-na-naaaa-naaa
na-na-na-na-na-na-naaaa-naaa
na-na-na-na-na-na
na-na-na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na-na-na-naaaa-naaa
na-na-na-na-na-na-naaaa-naaa
na-na-na-na-na-na-naaaa-naaa
na-na-na-na-na-na
na-na-na-na-na-na

**A great song by Twista

Be hopeful ppl!

M3RD3K@!!!

merdeka!!! is all in my head 2day... but there's somethin that i'm not fond of though... ppl are all sayin that it's good fer me tat i dun hav 2 take PM... fine! yes it is good... but it's not ma fault tat they hav 2 take it either... it's sucks coz the way say it is as if they are blamin me coz they hav 2 take dat stupid paper... damnit... it's not my fault! neways... so sorry that they hav 2 hav so much self pity... as fer me... MERDEKA!!!!

a male bitch???

i dunno that there is such thing as a male bitch until now.... *sigh* sad to say that i found it out myself... "life sucks, i know" a phrase taken from Blink 182's single, All the Small Things... it's tatolly true... to bad to those who haven't gone through it... u eventually will... someday....

now back to the male bitch issue... a male bitch?? is there such thing??? nah... it's just my perception of how bitchy a guy can be... insensitive, self centered, selfish, "bimboish", way too sensitive, seems to be an angle but the true fact is that he's not... ewww,... this type of guy is way meant to be dispised... like i usually said... "WOI! SEDARLAH DIRI TUE SIKIT!!!"

a normal male with all da bitchy trades... a sign of a male bitch... realization sucks big time! but there's nothin we can do... but to accept the fact tat male bitches do exist! sorry to say guys... but u guys do act bitchy sometimes... i'm not sayin all of u, but a portion of u do...

that's all i hav 2 say fer now...

till nxt time...

peace out

one more thing...

just 2 add a few stuff b4 i blah... simple plan is comin 2 m'sia again on march 29th. havin a joint concert with avril lavigne!!! woohooo!!! so i guess tat means i'm goin fer da concert... heheh... unless if i'm dead broke tat is... btw, toaster and ah siau, if u guys wana go then u know where 2 find me rite? heheh... and b4 i ferget... Happy CNY 2 all of ya out there!!! c ya'll soon!!!

simplicity, rage and anger!

fuckin shit!!! damn it! geez... izit so hard 2 understand when i said "dun touch my stuff"?!?!?! when i said it, just listen... damn! now i've lost everythin... everythin tat meant 2 me da most!!! okay, okay... some of u might take it as just a few mp3 files... but they mean a lot 2 me!!! it's the memories tat counts, damn it! it's just a simple rule 2 obey! u borrow some1's things u listen 2 wat they say! n if they say dun touch any files then dun!!! izit tat hard 2 understand??? fuck it! i'm so angry rite now i can kill!!! n if i c tat fella rite now, i just might do so. so i'll just stay here n spill my senses here b4 i do somethin tat wud put me in jail.... damn fuckin shit!