all work, no sleep

it's been just that for last week, after i came back from new zealand. i finally got a full 6 hours sleep yesterday. well it's not like that'll be enough, but at least it's a full 6 hours, with no dreams nor a single sign of conciousness. guess that's how tired i am. still, i need to get back to the 'all-smiles me'... i hate being the 'cranky ol me'... that's just NOT who i am.

i've snapped at a couple of people this week... yesterday, i snapped at the 'new bitch in town'... she made a stoopid remark about somethin that didn't have anythin to do with me in the first place... excuse me for being concern about my friend... guess that's why you don't have many... 'REAL' friends that is... mirror check! potsy 1 - NBT 0!

well it's back to work for me... toodles!

-cr@zee@zz-

2 years, 4 months and 29 days

It's been that long since I last posted... It's either that I've been too happy in life or I've been too busy to post... I say the latter! I hadn't been all smiles like I used to. It's hard to be when there's so much shit happening, but that's life. Isn't it?

My last post says two deaths in a year... well this year is just as bad... Mama left us last December and Uncle Ben, he left us just 18 days ago... too bad I couldn't attend his funeral though. Not that I don't want to... despite the disagreement between us, he's still my uncle... and his departure was a great loss... I wish this was all just a dream. "Please give me my mama back!!!" was what went through my mind when I broke down two weeks after her departure. I really miss her!

Despite all the sorrows, I'm looking forward to starting the new chapter of my life. I know I'm comfortable where I am right now, but that's what makes me want to leave. I don't want to be comfortable. I want new challenges! Challenges that will help me succeed once I've encountered them. I will be fine, I know I will.

For those of you who are worried of my love life... my beloved sisters in particular, just shug it off your shoulders will ya? It's the last thing on my mind right now. But FYI, I'm looking. There's no harm perving on guys, is there? I'm just looking, I won't touch them. I promise! Might as well enjoy my youth doing crazee shit while I still can :P

Till then...

-cr@zee@zz-

waking up on the wrong side of the bed...

i wonder if i did... not today in partcular, but at the beginning of this year... 01.01.2006. CRAP!

this year has been one sucky year for me... two deaths in a year, well i expected one but not this recent one. it was a total shocker... my uncle, dad's one and only brother passed away almost two weeks ago. i thought, well more like i hope he could beat it because he had been a strong fighter, but he lost... he lost to one of the things that people fear oh-so-much nowadays...CANCER...

the weekend that i planned to be the biggest gig week of this year had to be ended with such a big loss in my life. my uncle had always been supportive, despite some moments where he did say some bad things about my family, maybe he didn't mean it, maybe he's doin it as a motivation for us to fight for a better life... those things are just memories that would keep me fighting for what i want in life.

my uncle's death had made me realize that life is full of surprises, well not all surprises are good. you'll never know what would come your way. in my uncle's case, he's not a smoker and he doesn't drink. he's the most health concious person i've ever met. and yet, he has lung cancer.
realization leads to a new year's resolution... from now on, i'll take every opportunity i have to do what i want. at least if it's time for me to go, i'll go happy and satisfied. life's like that.

- crazeeazz -

it's been a while...

yeah, it has been a while since i last posted... been very busy. well at least my lifelogger account is a lil more updated than this... but still... old reads are good reads too... hang in there people...

i went home pretty late yesterday... well, not da latest but it waz late... but, i was rather tired than hungrywhen i went home... not hungry? dat's so not me... neways, i went 2 hang out in my hsemates' room... we chatted abt our childhood n i realised wat a bad ass i m...i'm hot tempered... yep, true... n i beatup a couple of pplwhen i waz bk in skool... amazingly, i nvr got in2 trouble... i wonder y...

bk in primary skool, there waz this guy, sanjit... he's da big bully of da skool... n i waz actually kinda afraid 2 go 2 skool coz he likes 2 push me around n hit me n stuff... i told my mom n she this is wat she told me, "beat him back la! apa mao takut?" n so i did! well i didn't dare at 1st, but then i got so angry 1 day dat i actually did it... n he nvr dare bully me again... hahah... i will always remember dat day... so now we're frenz... hahaha... dat 'gundu'

da second time i beat some1 up is coz he said somethin abt my name... my classmate eric... like his name is so special... cheh! neways it waz kinda shockin coz i just dashed 2wards him n brab his shirt n beat him up... hahah... ganas? yea... i just can't control myself when i'm angry! hahah... then i realised dat i kinda ruined his uniform when i grabbed his shirt coz all of da buttons were gone... haha... dun mess with me dude... :D

i also threw stuff 2 my boss' son's face once... it waz my 1st day @ work... n for all u know, i'm a banana... so he waz bitchin with his fren abt me in mandarin, sayin dat i'm a "malay kid wanabe" n stuff... bitch! u dun even know me! i'm a banana but i understand wat u're sayin, stooped! n so i just threw da keychains dat i waz holdin 2wards him n walked out of the workplace! hahah... satisfied dat is... da nxt day his dad called me n asked me y i left n i told him 2 ask his son... n he paid me 40 bucks fer da 2 hours dat i lasted there... :D

n dat day, i almost slapped da sales b'atch in topshop coz of da same reason... she such a b'atch!!!!!!!!!! B'ATCH! if i wasn't workin, then i wud've bashed her up oredi... stooped!
come 2 think of it... it's really funny though, da stuff i did when i waz younger... n all da ppl i beat up bcame my close frenz. yep... hahah... close frenz... even my sis... well i didn't beat her up... but i kicked her door once n made a hole through it... hahahaha... farnee... guess i waz really naughty, n i still am... so dun get on my bad side if u dun wana get bashed up

peace out!

-crazeeazz-

my obsession...

music dat is... can't live without it!!! what's on my playlist rite now??? stuff dat i haven't been listenin to fer a while now, stuff dat i used to listen to after i got over BSB and b4 i got hooked to LP... hehe... len, lit, sky, swirl 360, silverchair, sum 41, semisonic, travis, prodigy, no doubt!!, and the list goes on and on... hahah... i miss my old pc... all my treasures r in there... maybe dat's y it died... info overload... hehe... well gotta continue dlin now... wanna get bk all my old stuff while i still hav the time to do it...

do i or don't i?!?!

well i think i do, but sometimes i think i don't... Wat the hell... hehe... u guys must b wonderin wat i'm talkin abt rite? it's my job... yep, u heard me... MY JOB! i hate it at times, but then, it's better than da 9-5 office work dat i've intended 2 avoid... but fashion's just not my thing u know... i'd rather spend my time kickin ballz (not dat ballz) than to dress up n put on make up... money wise, i'd rather eat than buy clothes or groomin prods... eek... it's okay dat i'm ugly, at least i dun die of starvation... heheh... food is essential to this crazeeazz, if u know wat i mean :D yea, so sports it is... i'm not sayin dat i'm good at it, nor m i good at writin abt sports, but it's my niche... i'm willin 2 learn... n this, i would give up food for... hahah... guess i'll learn it from Malaysian Today, next sem... thx sarah fer helpin me out... ttyl...

-crazeeazz-

i love my blog...

COZ IT'S BLACK! yea... i can't make my LL black like this... i'm a dummy when it comes 2 it stuff... heheh... name je budak MMU... hey i failed my C++ man... basic stuff i know how 2 do la... especially goin on9... i rule at dat :D since i like this blog so much (though i stopped bloggin in it fer months oredi...) i've decided 2 continue it... more personal stuff will b blogged here coz not many ppl know abt this blog. oni close frenz... as fer my other craps, especially pix of da crazee stuff dat i do, i'll post em on my LL... da url... http://crazeeazz.lifelogger.com yep... so now u can see wat i do when i'm bored... or at certain times when a bright idea just pops in2 my head... well it happens a lot coz i hate bein bored and i always hav somethin 2 do... no i'm not a workaholic. it's just that sittin around doin nothin tires me... dat sucks! so i'd rather go out n kia2... unless if i'm sleepin :P aight, bk 2 work then...

c ya when i c ya

- crazeeazz -

come 'n go

no, no... not touch 'n go! heheh... newayz, 2day's my last day at Seventeen... i'm so sad 2 leave, but then again... i hav 2 get bk 2 skool... expn is waitin fer me... heheh... yeah, yeah, i'm dreamin. but dreamin is what makes u sucessful. if u dun dream, u won't even hav any idea wat u wud do. a dream is the point where u hav 2 get 2, yer dream is ur goal. ok, ok... put stop!

bk 2 my last day story... yeah it is sad 2 leave. i've had such a great time here. there's the bunch of crazy ppl, sarah, mable, jayen and daphany... n not 2 ferget seema n yi hua who is always askin me 2 say somethin... heheh... yeah i'm kinda quiet... (it might b unbelievable 2 those ppl who know me out there, n no i'm not sick!). i hav lots of firsts here. my 1st photoshoot (thx 2 mable), my 1st christmas party (oso thx 2 mable, heheh), my 1st piece that is published, my 1st time goin out loanin n returnin... n not 2 ferget, my 1st time havin such crazy colleagues, who are more of frenz than colleagues. i'm gonna miss ya'll sooo much! so near yet so far... maybe we might see each other in jaya... hahah.

well done with workin, goin bk 2 skool, hence, the ROAD TRIP! the planz which i can say "has officially gone wayyy crazeeee!!" well it waz originally planned fer 3d/2n which turned out to b 4d/3n n it ended up as a 5d/4n trip... r we talkin crazee or wat?? hmm... yeah we r... as usual... ok my dearest pahang, u better b prepared fer us... or malaysia won't hav a son called pahang anymore... heheh...

**2 daze 2 2006, 17 daze 2 ROAD TRIP!!! i'm still sad though :(

-sad n crazee-

once insaned, alwayz insane...

insaned?? does dat word even exist?!?! nvm, nvm... insanianz can use any word they want... which leads to... our ROAD TRIP updates!!!

remember in one of my previous posts, we cudn't decide where 2 stay? kuantan or cherating? well we've decided 2 stay in both kuantan n cherating... crazee? yep, i know... n we also extended the duration of the trip from 3D/2N to 4D/3N... dat's even crazier! this means dat i hav 2 skip 4 daze of classes (i'd probably take 2 daze of MC though)!!

since the stay in kuantan wud b free, we'll b stayin in a hotel in cherating. the original plan waz dat we're gonna camp on da beach(2 cut cost) but we cudn't find tents... 2 bad... it wud'da been da bomb!!!

aight then, planz r set... we just need 2 plan out the stuff we wud wanna do there... drop by terengganu or somethin... check in soon!

**9 daze 2 2006, 24 daze 2 ROAD TRIP!!!!!

-I.N.S.A.N.E. Inc.-

merry christmas!!!... Seventeen style!

MERRY CHRISTMAS PPL!!! heheh... it's 7.30 and i'm still in da office... it's fer a good cause though... hahah... we just finished our christmas partae... it waz fun... a very happy day 2day,... my first christmas partae... besides da 1 we had when uncle bob waz bk here like 9 years ago n da time when i joined toaster fer her family's christmas dinner when i didn't manage 2 get a bus ticket home... thx every1(u know who u r)! n also thx fer da prezzies!!!

HAV A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS YA'LL!!!

**10 daze 2 2006, 25 daze 2 ROAD TRIP!!! n still countin down...

-christmassy crazee-

wut???

yesterday i waz sittin in ma room, finishin up my buyin guide fer march. while doin dat, i decided 2 check out if jay chou's as good as what my frenz described him 2 b... n so i listen 2 a few songs and amazingly i got hooked up to a song! tat 1 particular song, i listened over n over again fer about an hour or so... it's such a bubbly, happy song... though i dunno wat's he singin abt, but the beat is so happy-like dat i just can't help it. hope it's not a song abt some ppl dyin or somethin... then it wud b so devastatin. neways, i can officially say tat the songs r kinda good... really! hmmm... if i know what the songs r abt then i might b able 2 comment more! heheh...

11 daze 2 2006, 26 daze 2 ROAD TRIP!!!

-crazee s can b-

skippedy doo dah... skippedy day...

well since i'm gonna leave the office early 2day, i'm gonna finish all ma 7 posts now. if u noticed, i've used the rainbow colors fer ma posts 2day. hahah... i really m crazee...

i'm alone in da office 2day, with daphany tat is. elaine's on MC. mable, sarah n jayen r at the writer's workshop. aileen went 2 help out fer torque's photoshoot in alamanda P. n i'm here all alone. thank god daphany is here... but i decided 2 leave early... go n get my student bill at campus n stuff.

neways, nxt week is my final week here. so i'll just enjoy bein here while i still can... gonna miss ya'll!!

bk 2 skool spirit... HELLLLL YEAH!!!

i'm in da bk 2 skool spirit... yes i m... fer da 1st time... long holis is not a good thing... no, no it's not. but at least i get 2 gain some xperience here at Seventeen. it ain't so bad...

then again, i can't wait 2 go bk 2 skool... though it would b a whole lot tougher nxt yr... subjects r gettin harder, industrial trainin in da 2nd sem (i wonder where should i go fer ma trainin? 8TV? The Star? Bernama? hmm... tat's a tough 1), n not 2 ferget, some self centered b'atch who couldn't care less about other ppl's feelings (spoilt brat!). but tat wudn't affect me... i know wat i want n nothin cud stop me from achievin it.

go fer GOLD! or izit go fer GOAL? gold or goal, it's still the same thing 2 me... heheh...

writer's block...

i'm havin a writer's block!!! i dunno how 2 run my story... any1 wana help? heheh... come on u ppl out there, i know u guys hav a good heart... heheh...

ok, lets see... football, done, futsal, done, sk8boardin, done, triathlon, not done, golf, not done, how many more? 5?? nooooo!!!!!!!!

ROAD TRIP!!!

WOOOHOOOOOOO!!! road trip!! well planz fer our road trip is finalised... oni 4 of us r goin... toaster, donut, lulu n me!!! we're gonna b freakin crazy!! well boohoo... like u dun oredi know dat... hahah...

i can't wait 2 go though... i really can't wait, that i've already made the list of things 2 bring! crazee ME... well i know u know tat i m... unless if u dunno me tat well tat is... heheh...

well da date fer da road trip is set on the 16th-18th of january, the third week of my semester... i know, i know... it's durin the weekdaze... yep, u got it right! i'm skippin class... just 2 go on this road trip... to cherating! i can't miss out on that! but we haven't decided if we're gonna stay in cherating or kuantan though... we're just gonna go anywhere we feel like goin... but fer sure we won't b landin in thailand coz we dun hav our passports... or maybe we can b some illegal immigrant, heheh... who knows? u can nvr predict wat will happen when it comes 2 us, the fellow I.N.S.A.N.E.ans :P

will definitely spill da dtails from the road trip... tat i promise!

returnin = worse

well returnin is much, much faster than loanin but da stares r worse than loaning. the the worst thing is dat ppl starts whisperin stuff... n they whispered it out loud... i can hear U!!! gee... mind ur own bizwhackz man... wana keh poh pun jgnler kuat sgt... *tsk, tsk*

**cut!!! but it's not a wrap yet...

i'm just loanin, the stuff ain't mine!!

loaning is fun? yeah it is coz u get 2 carry so many shoppin bags filled with branded goods but the bad thing in tat u dun own em. n the other bad thing is tat ppl keep on staring at u like u're an alien or somethin! i m not an alien!! NO!!!

well it waz my 1st time goin out loanin fer the fashion spread photoshoot. we had 2 go 2 28 stores in 1U n a few stores in MV... when we were done, the car waz filled with stuff as if i waz on a lottery winnin shoppin spree. kewl! heheh... but then again, i dun own any of the stuff... sheekh!

ooo n not 2 ferget, somethin funny happened when i waz loanin in 1U. i waz carryin huge guess and a caractere paperbags an i waz walkin towards UCOB from caractere, this guy who waz promotin the HSBC credit card came up 2 me n asked me if i would like 2 apply fer a cr card n i went like "no thx, i dun hav any money"... n the guy gave me a weird stare... i think he waz thinkin like... "u're carryin a whole bunch of branded stuff n u tell me u hav no $$?? wat da &*^%???" hahah... sorry... it's not ma fault dude... the stuff ain't mine...

neways it waz a wonderful experience, just tat i can't stant all the stares. i shall stress it again... i dun own any of the stuff fer pete's sake!! :D

i'll continue in my nxt post... c ya in a minute!

it's been a while...

true 2 da title... it has been a while since i last posted... probably because i dun hav the time 2 post... there's been loanin, returnin, writin, and shootings 2 do... but i managed... hahah... surprisingly, it wasn't tirin at all! probably it's coz i hav so much fun doin it.

neways, there r stuff that i wanted 2 post a while ago but i didn't so i'm gonna post it in my nxt post... which will start now...

ooo yeah...

i fergot 2 add... yesterday i went fer lunch break at da curve... heheh... i tot tat lunch break is just an hour but i actually went fer a 3 hour lunch break with my colleagues... crazy but cool... hahah... i never expected dat